Healing the inner voice to change our relationship to work and effort
“If it was fun, they wouldn’t call it work.”
That was my Dad’s attitude. He was a plasterer, a job that required an artful sense of consistency, texture, and timing. It also meant long hours on his feet (or stilts!) breathing tiny dust particles.
That doesn’t sound like fun to me either. But he sure knew he was working!
Sadly, I think most people in the US share my Dad’s attitude about work. Even people who love their jobs and live with “purpose.” Even people with wealth, who have great discretion over their time.
We all seem to share a hidden assumption:
If we’re not worn out by what we’ve done, we haven’t done anything worthwhile.
Or perhaps more accurately:
If we’re not worn out by what we’ve done, WE are not worthwhile.
So we fill time with projects, volunteering, exercise, meetings, emails, classes. Even vacation planning becomes a chore.
That’s how we know it’ll be worthwhile.
We tell ourselves, “I can’t wait until everything’s done.” In the rare instance that happens, we get restless, ruminate, clean, look at phones, have drinks, and find myriad other ways to numb out.
I’m not saying these things are bad. I want to point out that we seem to avoid—at all costs—the experience of simply being present with the stillness of our own selves.
Why are we so uncomfortable with our own, solitary presence? What (or whom?) are we avoiding?
Here’s a paradox, friends: I believe the self-presence we avoid with distracted action is actually the source of our most sublime action. It’s where our clearest, most creative, most courageous, most loving action comes from.
Let’s call it intuitive presence. It’s relaxed and open. It’s curious. It takes things as they come. It’s attuned to senses. It’s calm. It does what needs to be done, and then moves on to what’s next.
You’ve experienced it. It’s there in the flow of conversations, getting lost in a favorite task, or going for a walk. It’s easy to assume we need to be doing something recreational to experience it. But it’s a state of consciousness available anytime.
I’m experiencing it as I write this!
Unfortunately, we learn to distrust this intuitive way of being.
It’s not appropriate when something important is on the line, right? That would be irresponsible! Reckless!
There’s a voice inside that says,
“You need to WORK a PLAN to ACCOMPLISH what you WANT…and if you’re not TIRED, you’re not WORKING, and you’ll FAIL.
You want proof? Just wait until something doesn’t go exactly the way you want…
See? You should’ve worked HARDER.”
Ouch.
There are so many sorrowful consequences to this approach.
Here’s a very practical one: that inner voice makes us less effective.
It drives us to do more than the moment requires. We complicate situations by incessantly picking at them like scratching an itch. The felt need to DO something becomes compulsive and we stop being “in choice.”
Doing becomes more important than discerning.
With this kind of internal headwind, following intuition requires tremendous self-awareness, understanding, and self-trust. Awareness of when the inner voice is taking control. Understanding it has your best interest in mind. Trusting you won’t become lazy, irresponsible, or forgetful if you choose to take a different path.
Intuitive presence knows you are not a failure waiting to happen.
You’re a human being who learns as you go. You can act lightly, without burden. You can feel at ease while doing what needs to be done. You can notice the subtle beauty of whatever you’re doing because your energy is not depleted with anxious worry.
Intuitive presence trusts you. It empowers you to replace the negative, self-berating voice with one that says:
“You’ve got this…enjoy!”
That’s a profound act of self-love.
Try it :).
